How to Ask for References Abroad (Real Scenarios)

They ask for references. You're in a new country, you have zero "local" contacts, and three people back in Ukraine you feel awkward calling because of the timezone or just everything going on. Yeah. Very familiar situation.

Good news: references don't have to be local. Recruiters in Poland, Germany, the Netherlands, or Canada are perfectly fine with reference letters and email replies from people in Ukraine, the UK, or anywhere else. The geography isn't the problem. The problem is knowing how to ask without getting ghosted.

Why people say no to giving references

Short answer: they feel awkward, not because they don't like you. The most common reasons are not knowing what to write, fear of saying the wrong thing, or simply not having bandwidth right now. Another classic: they agreed, then forgot, and when the recruiter called, they panicked and gave a bland non-answer.

So your job isn't just to ask. It's to make it as easy as possible for the person to say yes and follow through. The less they have to think, the better the reference you'll get.

Who can give you a reference when you know nobody locally

Let's map out the pool. It's bigger than it feels.

• Former direct manager - the strongest reference. Even if you're not in regular contact, someone who hired you or was accountable for your work carries the most weight.
• Peer or senior colleague - works well if you worked closely and they saw your work from the inside.
• Client or stakeholder - especially strong for freelancers or those who worked in outsourcing or product companies with external stakeholders.
• Mentor or learning community member - if you did bootcamps, courses, or participated in communities (DOU, Slack groups, etc.), someone who saw you work still counts.
• LinkedIn contact with genuine shared history - if you've exchanged messages, collaborated on something, or even meaningfully interacted in comments, that's not zero.

One thing: don't ask people you're merely "connected" to on LinkedIn without any real interaction. Recruiters do check references, and if the person starts mumbling vague things, that's worse than no reference at all.

How to write the ask so they don't say no

One golden rule: don't make the person your ghostwriter. If you just write "can you give me a reference?" and nothing else, you're putting all the work on them. They have to invent what to write, in what format, where to send it. That's stress. Stress equals no or a long delay.

Instead, write so that all they need to do is agree and lightly customize what you've already prepared.

Message structure for a former manager

1. 1Briefly remind them who you are and when you worked together. Even if you know each other well, context helps.
2. 2Explain what role you're going for and why it matches what they saw in you. This gives them an angle to write from.
3. 3Be specific about what's being asked: a reference letter, an email reply to a recruiter, or just permission to list their contact.
4. 4Offer a draft or bullet points. Write 3-4 sentences about yourself in third person and say: "feel free to use this as a base and change whatever you want".
5. 5Give a soft deadline. "If possible by June 28" is fine. "I NEED THIS URGENTLY" is not.

The client or stakeholder scenario

Clients are usually happy to give references - especially if you genuinely helped them. But they don't always understand what's needed. So be even more specific about format here. If it's a LinkedIn Recommendation, send them the direct link. If it's an email, give them a near-ready template. If it's a recruiter call, warn them in advance and give a mini-briefing: "they'll probably ask about..., you can mention that..."

LinkedIn Recommendations: when and how to ask

LinkedIn recommendations are an underrated tool. They're publicly visible, and some recruiters look at them before they even call your contacts. But there's a catch: the default LinkedIn request button often gets ignored. Better to message the person personally first, agree on it, and then send the official platform request.

When you write personally, do the same: give them 2-3 talking points about what you'd like them to mention. Something like: "it'd mean a lot if you mentioned the work on X project and how we solved Y, because that's directly relevant to the role I'm going for". That's not manipulation. That's respecting their time.

Real message templates (copy and adapt)

Here are a few versions for different situations. Don't copy word for word - adapt to your own style and relationship with the person.

Former manager you haven't spoken to in a while

"Hi [name], it's been a while - hope things are good on your end. I'm actively looking for a new role at [country/company/direction] and a potential employer is asking for references. If you'd be comfortable, I'd love to list you - we worked together on [project/area] at [company] from [year] to [year]. It would likely be a short email or a 10-minute call. I can prepare a few bullet points about what we worked on together to make it easier. Let me know what you think."

Colleague or team lead you're still in touch with

"[Name], hey. Quick favor: I'm finalizing the process with [company] and they're asking for references. Would you be able to be one of my contacts? The role is [title], very similar to what we did on [project]. If it's an email, I'll send you a draft so you don't have to start from scratch. If it's a call, I'll give you a heads-up in advance."

Client or stakeholder (in English, since they're likely not Ukrainian)

"Hi [name], I hope you're doing well. I wanted to reach out because I'm in the final stages of an interview process with [company], and they've asked for professional references. Given the work we did together on [project], I thought you'd be a great fit. Would you be comfortable being listed? It would likely be a brief email or a short call. I'm happy to share a few notes on the work we did together to make it as easy as possible for you. No pressure at all if now's not a good time."

What to do when your former contacts are hard to reach

This is a real scenario. The company folded. Your manager left and is unreachable. Colleagues scattered across different countries. Especially if you have a gap in your CV for 2022-2023, it can feel like there's nobody to ask.

• Search on LinkedIn. People move, but profiles usually stay. Even if someone doesn't reply immediately, write, give context, and wait.
• Volunteer or community work counts. If you volunteered in 2022-2023, helped with logistics, coordinated something, a person who witnessed that can give a reference. Recruiters, especially in Europe, respect this.
• Freelance clients from Upwork or Fiverr. Platform reviews are already public references. But you can also ask a client to send a direct email to the recruiter.
• Instructor or mentor from a course. If you've recently done training and have a good relationship with a mentor, that's a legitimate reference for roles where skills matter more than years of experience.

And yes, there are situations where references simply aren't available. In that case, be honest with the recruiter: "I have contacts but given the circumstances of 2022, some are hard to track down. I can provide a reference letter from [X] and I'm happy to explain the context." Most reasonable recruiters get it.

Reference letters: when and how to write them

Some companies, especially in Germany and Austria, traditionally ask for a written Arbeitszeugnis or reference letter together with the CV. In other countries a letter is less mandatory, but if you proactively offer one, it's always a plus.

The format of a classic reference letter: 1 page, company letterhead or just the person's signature, date, their title. Content: who you are, how long and where you worked together, specific examples of your work, and a closing recommendation. No need for a novel.

If the person has never written a reference letter and has no idea where to start, you can prepare a draft for them and ask them to read it and sign if everything is accurate. This is standard practice. Even big companies do it during offboarding.

By the way, if you want to make sure your CV actually matches the role you're going for before asking for references, it's worth running it through the AI CV Analyzer. No point collecting references to back up a CV that won't pass the first filter.

After they say yes: what comes next

First: thank them immediately. Not a "thanks" tacked onto the previous message, but a separate "thank you for agreeing, it really means a lot". People remember gratitude and put more care into what they do next.

Second: send them your current CV and a short description of the role you're going for. So they can tailor what they say. The more context you give, the more accurate and useful the reference.

Third: give them a heads-up before the recruiter contacts them. Not "they'll be in touch soon" but specifically: "company X will probably reach out this week, they may email or call you".

• Send a final "thank you" after you get the offer, even if the reference wasn't ultimately needed.
• Offer reciprocity: "if you ever need a reference from me, I'm always happy to help".
• Don't overuse the same contact for every single company. It burns them out and lowers the quality of the references.